


Joker x Reader - Need Me

by TheJokersEnigma



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M, based off song, joker x reader - Freeform, realistic joker, tumblr requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 04:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14465304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJokersEnigma/pseuds/TheJokersEnigma
Summary: ‘If you’re still taking requests: Realistic! Joker, you know, the real one, and the reader is living with him. They’re dating and she does all the little things for him (dinner, cleaning) and, even though he doesn’t say anything, he leaves little things for her to find or smt like that. Sorry if confusing, basically a realistic joker that doesn’t seem to notice what the reader does but he still appreciates it and repays her in his own special way. You can ignore this tbh. I really love your work!’Based off the song Need Me by Eminem and P!nk.





	1. Chapter 1

You caught the putrid smoke smell the moment you stepped out of the elevator and into the penthouse hallway. You wrinkled your nose at it, frowning as you now followed it down the corridors, having a worrying suspicion where it might be coming from.

Sure enough, the scent was strongest at the closed door that led into J’s office.

You had hoped to avoid J - might even have considered staying in a hotel for the night if you’d had the presence of mind to grab some cash on your way out earlier - but the smoke had you worried, fearing that he might have gone too far this time, and the very idea had your chest tightening.

You paused momentarily at the door, bracing yourself before you pushed it open, immediately assaulted by the strong smell that greeted you on the other side. The room was dark, the familiar shadows of the furniture only outlined by glow of Gotham beyond the windows where the curtains hadn’t been drawn against the night. You were relieved not to have been met with a roaring fire, and now reached for the light switch next to you, bathing the scene in a warm glow.

The carpet in front of you was still smouldering, showing the source of the smell, and you wrinkled your nose as you inhaled a fresh wave of smoke. You stepped into the room, moving over to the desk opposite you which, as you approached, you saw was littered with cigarettes and spilt pill bottles. An open bottle of some sort of strong alcohol had been tipped over, most of the contents gone, but a few drips still falling trickling onto the floor.

You scanned the room, no sign of J.

You ensured there was no chance of the room catching fire once again, then turned and headed back to the hallway. Glass crunched under your shoes as you walked, and you wondered how much other damage was hidden in the darkness.

The Joker was unpredictable at the best of times, but it was clear he had been drinking at the very least, and so you had no chance of knowing where he had vanished to now. You checked every room you passed as you through the penthouse until you reached the master bedroom. It was dark like all the other rooms, and you couldn’t see any sign of the clown as you stepped over the threshold, but you did hear the gun click behind you.

You spun quickly on the spot to face the armchair in the corner of the room to see a figured slumped in the shadows, the gun in his hand aimed unsteadily in your direction.

“J.” You murmured gently, slowly lifting your hands up in surrender. “J, it’s me.”

“Hmm?” He seemed to study you for a moment before his arm dropped limply to his side and he let his head roll back with a grin. “Ah, my dear…” He slurred, closing his eyes “I knew you’d come back…” He let his loll forward again, his chin dropping to his chest, “You always come back…” He grinned at you.

You watched warily as his eyes closed again and his breathing seem to slow. You waited a few more moments before daring to move forward, reaching for the gun that hung loosely in his hand, worried to leave him alone with it.

Suddenly your felt a hand around your throat and you were jerked upright, the muzzle of the pistol rammed into your jaw. “Want to know why you keep coming back, sweetheart?” The Joker cooed, continuing on as though the conversation had never stopped, his grin wide and mad in your face as he leant closer to you now, blowing the stench of alcohol in your face. “It’s because you’re insane, doll!” He laughed. “You keep doing the same thing over and over and expect something to change! You think there’s something worthwhile saving in me!” He laughed madly. He pulled you in even closer now, his tight grip making you wince and choke slightly. “That’s the very definition of insanity, my dear…” He drawled, with a slow smile, now pulling back the gun and releasing your throat. You stumbled backwards, gasping dry breaths of air as you rubbed your bruised throat as the Joker giggled at you.

You scowled, not in the mood for this right now and doubting J would sober up anytime soon, so, instead of reacting to his game, you left him to take care of himself, heading back out into the hallway without a second glance.

The Joker’s drunken giggles slowly faded away as you headed back towards the office and got to work on cleaning up the mess – knowing you wouldn’t be able to sleep at the moment anyway. You swept up the whiskey and glass and wrote a note to yourself to call someone in the morning to get the singe carpet replaced.

J didn’t deserve it, but you’d do it anyway.

You hated when he got like this, but it was an all too common occurrence at the moment - clearly something big weighing on his mind that he felt he needed to drown in expensive strong liquors and multiple narcotics.

You’d like to be able to tell yourself that it was the lack of money that meant you had to come back tonight, but you knew that was only a small part of it. The truth was you worried about J. You were a sucker. No matter what he put you through, you always came back, would always do anything for him - even if he didn’t care, even if he didn’t notice, even if he screamed at you to get out and laughed when you did. Maybe he was right, maybe you were insane to keep coming back. Did you really ever expect anything to have changed? Every now and then you wondered what your life would be like if you’d taken a different path in life - if you weren’t seemingly tied down to the Joker. But, the truth was, you were. Tied down. Heart and soul. You needed him it seemed.

And you were starting to think, despite it all, he needed you too.

You paused as you brushed the last handful of cigarette butts off J’s desk and into the bin, catching sight of a piece of paper that stood out amongst the others piled next to you. Dusting your hands off, you moved around to get a better look at it, seeing it was marked with water rings and cigarette ash, but that wasn’t what had caught your eye - it was the repeated word scribbled at different angles and sizes all other the page. You frowned, squinting to read the barely legible drunken handwriting.

It was your name, scrawled over and over again.

You hesitated, but then picked up the piece of paper, folding it neatly before slipping it into your pocket - J wouldn’t remember it in the morning anyway.

But, maybe, he really did need you.


	2. Part 2

It was nearly midday the following day when you knocked lightly on the office door, then pushed it open despite no answer from inside. There wasn’t anything unusual in that. J was sat with his feet up on his desk, feet crossed at the ankle, studying some papers in his hands intently. He seemed to be mumbling something to himself as you silently strode across the, placing the mug of coffee you had been carrying in its usual spot on the desk.

You stepped back, lingering. “J?” You asked, trying to get his attention.

“What, doll?” He growled, not bothering to look up.

“Frost is on his way up with Hugh and Jack.” You informed him.

“Who and who?” He muttered.

You rolled your eyes. “Hugh and Jack – the smugglers you wanted?” You explained. “For the paintings?”

The Joker finally glanced up. “Ah, yes!” He grinned, “Be a doll and send them in when they arrive.” He beamed.

“Sure.” You nodded, your heart fluttering at his smile and you turned to leave, but paused though, when something caught your eye on the edge of the desk. A second glance confirmed it was the note you had made yourself last night about ringing someone to fix the carpet - you must have forgotten it. You quickly grabbed it before departing, highly doubting that J noticed it anyway.

As you walked back out into the hallway, Frost stepped out of the elevator followed by two men you hadn’t met before, and you greeted them warmly, having always liked Johnny. You offered them refreshments which they refused, then showed them to the office. Yes, sometimes you felt like a PA, other times a maid, for the Joker, but you didn’t mind most of the time. Yet, when you tried to become something more in his life, to really build a relationship, J seemed to become even more distant, his words often becoming cruel and demeaning, quick to tell you what he thought of romantic relationships with his snide remarks. You had tried, but there was no reasoning with him on the subject, and those were the nights really felt like just storming out the door and running for the hills without looking back.

You headed back to the kitchen where you had left your phone and, as you walked, you glanced down at the sticky note still screwed up in the palm of your hand, unfolding and flattening it back out to read it again. You frowned, noticing something and straightening out a particular crease that you had formed in the bottom corner of the small square discovering that, under where you had scribbled about finding a handyman, there was a simple signature of ‘J x’ in familiar handwriting.

You felt your eye widen in surprise. What? Was this a random doodle J had decided to create? That seemed weirdly random even for him, or did he mean something by it? How much could you afford to read into this simple letter and ‘kiss’? It was ridiculous how much you could feel your heart swelling over it, especially when it might mean nothing at all.

It was the moments like these when J didn’t seem so cruel and cold. They were rare, yes, but you didn’t know what you do without them if you ever were brave enough to leave. And maybe that was why you kept coming back, why you would do anything for J. You just hoped he needed you too.

Throughout the day, your mind kept flicking back to the note where it sat in your pocket next to the piece of paper with your name scribbled all over it. You needed to know - prove it to yourself somehow - that J had done it for some purpose. You knew you’d probably be disappointed by the answer, but you didn’t think you could let it go, you had too much hope.

So, you decided to test your theory out, writing a short note and leaving it on the wall opposite J’s office door so he would see it, explaining that you had gone out to run a few tasks that needed doing.

It wasn’t much, didn’t really need an answer, but neither had the carpet note.

So, you left J to his meeting, and gave yourself the day to complete a few errands you needed to run for yourself and for the Joker.

J liked having you at his beck and call when he needed it, so it might be good for him to see what happened when you took a day off, when you weren’t mothering him.

You finally returned as the sun was setting to find the penthouse empty now, no sign of J or Frost and the men, just a couple of new bullet holes in the wall that needed filling in and, opposite J’s office door, a knife wedged deep into the plaster next to where your note hung. You swallowed anxiously, maybe you shouldn’t have taken the whole day off…

I little more warning next time, dolly. J x

It was the kiss that really did it for you.

You’d pocketed that note as well, your heart soaring even higher.

From then on, you continued to leave notes around, they could be anything – to do lists, notes to J about certain things, even just doodles you did on a notepad once – if the Joker came across them, there was always a small message, or doodle in return. J, though, never brought them up with you, seeming to pretend like they didn’t exist, but you didn’t mind, the sweet messages improved your mood. It was stupid really, that you could only seem to have a real caring relationship through notes left around, but it was something you were happy to put up with if it meant an improvement to your relationship with the Joker. You felt closer to him, everything J wrote sounding more truthful and honest then anything he ever said to your face, no defences when he wrote, like he could write what he couldn’t say out loud.

You headed to your bedroom now to add the latest collection of notes to the pile you kept in your bedside cabinet, pushing open the door before suddenly freezing in place when you found the Joker stood by your side of the bed, apparently waiting for you.

“J?” You questioned in confusion, carefully slipping your notes back into your pocket before he could see them.

“Kitten.” He greeted with a grin, but it was stone cold. “Care to explain what these are?” He asked, now producing the wad of notes, that had been in your cabinet, from behind his back.

You opened your mouth, but you couldn’t think of anything to say. “I – uh – well –“

“Trying to trick me, eh?” The Joker asked, tossing the pile onto the bed and taking a step towards you, “Manipulation, is it?” He asked, taking another step. “You should know by now, doll, that that’s my job…” He drawled, dangerously calm.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself at his accusations, refusing to be reprimanded for wanting something back from the relationship and relishing when it happened. “I’m sorry, J,” You said stiffly, “if I was clinging to the tiny bit of affection you show me. But you can’t call those notes manipulation.” You said firmly. “I wrote a note and I kept it. I don’t intend to use them against you if that’s what you’re worried about.” You growled, “I would hope you would trust me that much at the least.”

The Joker glared at you, silent for once, then made to stride past you towards the door.

You sighed loudly in exasperation. “We’re both adults, J!” You cried angrily turning as pushed past you, gritting your teeth. “So why were we playing these games?! Passing notes in class?” You gestured at the pile of notes on the bed as J kept walking. “Why can’t we just talk?” You demanded, jogging after him.

He suddenly spun around, his hand at your throat, yanking you up to his eye level. There was no grin on his face now, his eyes cold. “Because I’d rather talk to a plant.” He snarled, then threw you backwards into the room and stormed out of the penthouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this second part out! I’m predicting one more part to this story, but I’m not sure I’ll get it out tonight as I need to be up early, but it’ll definitely be out tomorrow!
> 
> Hope you enjoy (it’s a bit rushed, so not great!)


	3. Part 3

When J didn’t return that evening, you weren’t surprised, often spending his nights out anyway – either on jobs, arranging deals or just drinking at one of Gotham’s shadier clubs - and not always taking you with him.

You didn’t mind that too much, but you were painfully aware of what went on in some of his regular hangouts, the rooms filled with criminals, but also women who like the idea of a night of risk with the wanted men and crime lords. You had always tried to just trust J before, but tonight you more worried thanks to his storm out.

Whenever you had joined him at the clubs you knew his responses to the women would depend on his mood - either openly flirt back at them in front of you or turning his gun on them. The flirtation annoyed you, yes, wishing he wouldn’t encourage them, but you knew it never went further – well not that you were aware. You gave him the benefit of the doubt most of the time, otherwise you’d drive yourself crazy with your suspicions and doubts.

You loved him too much to want to think any differently.

And maybe you were a sucker. There were times when he come back smelling too strongly of smoke and perfume, but you always managed to talk yourself into giving him another chance when he wrapped his arms around you, made you shiver - that you were just being paranoid when you found another, almost tender, answer to your notes.

But the notes were gone now - he wouldn’t answer them anymore surely – and you had to face you were probably just in denial about the whole thing.

But then again, this was the Joker. Maybe he was playing with you, baiting you, bullying you like the inner child he was, trying to provoke some response to you. To what end? You didn’t know, and J might not even have a reason or know himself.

You went to bed confused, angry and annoyed that night and finding yourself lying awake. Why were you so set on trying to convince yourself that this murdering, psychopathic villain was somehow a good guy - at least good for you?

Hadn’t you stood by him through the good and the bad times in your relationship? Didn’t that count for anything to him? That you were loyal and did return when you tried to walk away?

Or did that actually lower his opinion of you? Did he think you were weak? If that was the case though, why should you care? Why didn’t you just leave?

But if you left, did it really mean you stopped caring?

You doubted it, at least it would take you a long time to truly get over him, that was how deep he got under your skin.

And what would happen to J? He’d clearly looked after himself before you, surely he could manage?

Maybe you should then. Maybe you should leave.

 

You were awoken by your phone ringing in the early hours of the morning and you scrambled upright in alarm, reaching for it. It was Frost. About J.

He was on route to Arkham. Frost already had men and a plan to get him out before he reached the gates, but he needed your say so to proceed. This confused you and you said so to Johnny. “Boss put you as second in command.” Frost informed you, clearly surprised you didn’t know. “If he’s unable to make a decision, it goes to you.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing and, for a moment, just stood in silence until Frost prompted you with concern.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine, I-“ You paused as you thought about it. J need you. You had power you’d never had before. You’d helped to bail J out many times, but now you had an opportunity – you could sell him out, be rid of him for good. It might make leaving easier if he was safely tucked up in Arkham for a few months - until he eventually managed to break out on his own.

Your mouth was open, ready to give the command.

But you sighed, you just couldn’t bring yourself to turn your back on him.

The truth was, despite it all, you had hope. You had hope from the notes - whilst they had lasted – and from the news that you were his second in command. It made you think that there was something almost soft in J somewhere, something caring - even if you rarely saw it. Was it possible you were saving him from himself somehow? Or at the very least helping to change him a bit?

Maybe he needed you.

“Go.” You muttered into the phone. “Quickly.” Then you hung up, tossing the phone onto the duvet next to you where J would lie if he was here.

You felt a lump form in your throat. The painful truth was you were co-dependent, and you couldn’t end it. You could lie to yourself and say it was fear of J’s response to your leaving that stopped you, but the truth was, you just didn’t have the heart - the heart to break your own heart.

You doubted you would even nick the Joker’s.

The rescue mission was successful and a very bruised, battered and still slightly drunk Joker had been delivered to your door by Frost and a group of his men in the early hours of the morning. You had helped them get him to the bedroom before you began nursing the clown who had quickly fallen unconscious.

Everyday there was a new mess to clean up because of J - be it the penthouse, his broken bones or your mind - things were destroyed and torn apart and you were left to pick up the pieces.

You leant against the doorframe of the bedroom, watching the Joker’s motionless body on the bed, his breaks and cuts expertly wrapped thanks to you now having far too much experience with tending to his injuries.

Maybe it was God’s cruel trick on you or something to partner the two of you up, for your heart to be used like a dart board. But you were still here for some reason.

You sighed quietly, maybe you really were insane expecting anything – even yourself – to change when you kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

You pushed yourself away from the door, heading into the room to replace the water you had left him. You noted the painkillers you had left next to it was gone, so he had awoken at one point, but what struck you more was the other thing missing from the bedside cabinet.

The note. You had left a sticky note on the side with a simple – ‘Get well soon x’ out of pure habit – and maybe a bit of hope – but now it was gone. You frowned at the empty space where it had been, had J got rid of it? Did he hate you that much now? You couldn’t see any torn-up pieces of paper at the floor and you frowned over at J, still sleeping, wondering what he had done with it.

Then you saw it. On the pillow on your side of the bed. You furrowed your brow, confused, and moved silently round the bed, picking it up. It wasn’t your note though.

‘You’d better be in my arms when I wake up again, doll. J x’

And you were starting to think that maybe he needed you…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I didn’t really know where I was going with this part, got to admit… The whole series is a bit random, but I hope its ok?
> 
> I’ve not really edited it much, so I apologise if there are quite a few mistakes!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope its alright, I wrote it relatively quickly, I think I know roughly what the other parts are going to be... hopefully shouldn't take too long to write them!


End file.
